19 Aug Reclaiming Their Inner Light: How a 6-Day Spiritual Retreat Transformed The Lives of Formerly Incarcerated Women
Life can sometimes feel overwhelming and out of balance in today’s world of uncertainty, chaos, and fear. I was in a challenging place for the past several months and felt like I was at the end of my rope, I just didn’t know what to do about the challenges that were popping up in my life. Yet somehow, the universe seemed to know what I needed, and I had to trust the process. I surrendered and gave in by attending the second workshop in the well-being series called “The Crossover,” which Jennifer Mancuso and Sherrie Frank introduced to our group of formerly incarcerated women last year.
In the picturesque town of Ossining, New York, our group gathered for a life-changing retreat at the Mariandale Retreat Center. This six-day event, aptly titled “The Crossover Healing Workshop,” was a powerful experience that combined the elements of a reunion, self-care, and a transformative journey. The overarching theme of the workshop was simple yet profound “It is about me, and that’s the good news.” This message served as the guiding principle, reminding us all that our healing and self-discovery were the central focus of this retreat. Crossover was an event dedicated to empowering and helping us reclaim our lives.
When the women arrived, it was clear that this would be an extraordinary experience. “It’s about me, and that’s the good news” was the phrase that kept us grounded and set the tone to only think about ourselves, guided us throughout the day, and helped us explore through the different workshops how the power of choice lies in our hands and we can choose positive over negative.
The workshops involved practices such as holotropic breathing, meditation, speaking in the present moment, and trusting the group to support you. The cumulative process led to creating a contract with yourself and honoring it daily. These activities played a significant role in helping us to be more present and to let go of the stories we relied on to avoid being present in the moment. I enjoyed experiencing the cosmic joke while doing the holotropic breathing exercise. As I was breathing all of a sudden, this sense of pure delight and happiness just overcame me, and I started to smile, and then laughter came in wave after wave that I had no control over. I don’t remember how long this euphoria lasted, but it felt amazing and freeing.
I thought, what is this crossover, and what exactly am I crossing over to or from? Was it about death? Not the physical death but endings, whether it’s the end of a relationship, job, lifestyle, or changes in our lives, how we cross over from one state of being to another, not an ending but a transitional moment we all experience in life. My mind kept going and going as I contemplated the word “crossover”, as I tried to make sense of its relevance to what was happening in my life at the moment.
On the first day of the retreat, we entered the room and saw written on the paper, “It’s all about me, and that’s the good news.” I didn’t pay close attention to this title statement, but when it was all over, I understood the significance of it. Crossing over into a new way of being, making deliberate choices about the life you want to create for yourself. I recall our first well-being retreat last year in June. I had enjoyed the work, but it felt so intense and overwhelming at times. I felt that I had to always be on, and I shrank back from participating because of my insecurities and feeling vulnerable. This time was different, and I sensed it from the start when I arrived at the serene Mariandale Dominican Sisters retreat center in Ossining, New York.
The journey from Brooklyn had only taken a mere hour and a half, I felt as if I had been transported to a verdant, secluded paradise. A sense of tranquility washed over me as I stepped onto the picturesque grounds. The meticulously maintained grounds gave way to towering trees that cast gentle shadows across the sprawling lawn. The stately, historic buildings of the retreat center stood as quiet witnesses to the peaceful scene unfolding before me. At that moment, the bustling energy of the city felt worlds away. I took a deep, rejuvenating breath, already feeling the stresses of daily life melt away. This was a sanctuary, a place to find respite and reconnect with myself. As I made my way to my accommodations, I knew this retreat would be exactly what I needed. I immediately felt a sense of peace surrounding me as I explored the facility and grounds. Looking out on the Hudson River became my favorite place whenever I took a break.
The Dominican Sisters Retreat Center in Ossining has hosted numerous notable events and figures over the decades, some of the most significant include: The renowned Catholic theologian and philosopher Thomas Merton regularly retreated to the center in the 1950s and 1960s, finding solace and inspiration in its peaceful surroundings. Dorothy Day, the influential Catholic social activist and co-founder of the Catholic Worker movement, was a frequent guest at the retreat center. She used it as a space to recharge and further develop her ideas.
The center has hosted historic interfaith conferences, bringing together leaders from various religious traditions, and acclaimed art exhibitions exploring themes of faith, nature, and the human experience. The retreat center has functioned as a sanctuary not just for individual seekers, but also for some of the most influential religious and cultural figures of the 20th and 21st centuries, a testament to its power to inspire, enlighten, and transform.
We practiced being present with ”I” statements of what was happening in our bodies and minds at that specific moment in time. Using I statements and leaning into what was happening now felt different and challenging at first, but once I consciously focused on being present, it became clear that perspective is everything. The stories I used were eliminated, and the focus was on me and now. We all felt a shift in how we showed up each day. Struggling to be enough in a world that does not value and prioritize us is exhausting. Our society tells us that women’s bodies are less valuable than men’s and that having a criminal background is a strike. This messaging impacts our core beliefs and makes us question whether we are enough.
Upon leaving the retreat center, these formerly incarcerated women carried a renewed sense of hope, self-belief, and determination. They were equipped with the tools and practices to navigate some of life’s many challenges, to be present in the now, and to embrace their worthiness. The retreat experience served as a powerful catalyst for personal transformation and set a path toward a fulfilling and purposeful life.
As formerly incarcerated women we know the trauma, we know the pain, we know the stigma, we know the hurt, we know all of the things that are going to take us out of a victim-centered position and put us into positions of leadership and power. To unlearn these beliefs, we must go within and tap into our inner resources to remind us of who we are. We are enough, and we’ve always been enough.
-Rosyln Smith